In touch

sooo , i think ive just blown a record, ive written about 8 songs in the past two days , ......raw emotion always gave me awesome creativity.... but somehow i couln't care less anymore.... ive been fighting wiht my best friend for the past few days , and well i did some pretty shady things, i lied , and i got kicked out , freaked out about it , and then my rents said they were mad and they didn't mean it so i got over it , they seem to quick me out now about once every month , i shouldn't take it to hear anymmore , but everyone knows that after being kicked out by my mom in grade nine , well i sort of am very sensitive to the mention of it , alot of people get mad , or stop being friends cuz i freak out and usually plan to run to quebec or melanie's .... but thats my comfort zone , thats where i know ill always be wanted no matter what , and i could of added my best friend's place , but at the moment we aren't talking , i should try to apologises as much as i can , but i feel like the more i try the less i have a chance to be friends again ... so basically ive been feeling liek a fucking falior....and to top things of my bitch of a step mom keeps telling me that im just another fucking princess with an attitude... like Fuck , and then my dad wonder's why i sliced open again , that weird realse sort of comforts me , intense crying helps too or writing , but the one thing i shouldn't doe i have done , and it felt great , might regret it later on , but ohhh man the liquid warmth of it can make any pain leave ,well atlest for a while until i realese my problems are still stairing back at me....

p.s the doggy is my love i want her , and look at my amazing photo skills ><

War&Hate
Maree

August 31 2009

Il Etait un petit navire
Il etait un petit navire
Qui n'avait j'a j'a j'amais naviguer
Qui n'avait j'a j'a j'amais naviguer
oh er oh er

Micheline Guertin , chanson pour sa fille Marianne <3


Gooodddd morning , wow this mst be one of the earliest mornings ive seen all summer, i heard the birds sings, and felt the warm sunshine in my bedroom , the only thing thats keeping me awake , coffee -_-... so one of my bestiiieesss Sam just got a blog , and yes i know i shouldn't brag but , i think this might be pretty awesome , she is an awesome ninjka , but don't spread the word cuz i wouldnt want people klnmowing she's a ninja ><.... anywhoozers , she isn't much of a bloggiest , i think i just invented a new word WOOT , anywais as i was saying she isnt much of a blogger , but i think that having a blog might be awesome for her , technically she could always use it to write down idea's for fanfics, and herreview\critic opf other fanfics and she could also use it for common venting , i love to blog , it's become an obssession ><.... so last night i had well a moment , for the past 3 nights ive cried myself to sleep , not something i want to brag about obviously , but ... last night i realised something , that ive been crying empty tears , out for a bad fight with a best friend , or so called best friend?...i don't think she really wants top eb friend anymore...or she already hates me , god only knows , seing as she's shuned me out ... but last night i felt as if i lost somehting , i felt like when i lost my grand-mama , i've cried alot in my life , but these past few days i don't know why but it makes me feel empty and useless.... i feel like i couldn't giver a crap , but then i remembered that i've been crying like this for the passt 3 years , missing my mom , and little sister,and my grandparents ... and last night i felt like i needed my best friend there cuz the shaky feeling of being lost had found my lonely tears and my crying sore , but saddly i've lost that.... so know i am here thinking of what tod o with myself...i have plenty of friedns , well sort of but my main group consist of Nae,Melee,Sam,Emma,Caro,.....and thats about it .... the others are just friends or accaintences..... to be honest these five are what give me that amazing scaryness about me ><

Pce&Love
Maree

Ruined

so far i can say ,
ive ruined all in my way
chaging my path
won't change the past
relieving memories haunt me from last
nightmares unfold before my eyes
i can't stop the motion of these tears
broken hearts and unhold souls cry out
they want to save me
but they can't
they must let me be

Crying out for you
has only left me screaming of loneliness
lost touch won't do
trying to figure out this mess
isn't going to fix the problem


I'm alone in this world
without you i am another girl
trying to forget my mistakes
learning wich road to take
but never leaving your memories behind

T.M.N.T

bahahahahahaha , so i just came back from one of my best friedns house Emma :) , i was with her and Sam another bestf riend ><.... so yesterday i got my hair done with Sam , and wow , what a differnece , she has bangs , well side bangs and layers, she looks sooo gorgeous , not that she wasnt or anything but i truly love it!!!! and well i got my hair done as well , i got an awesome transformation of the hair i must say , bye bye boring "emo" look , lmao ...im so sick of seingg wannabe's lm,ao......oh well , anywais after getting or hair done me and Sam headed over to Emma's for a fun packed girls Bonfire night , and Emma had just bought this collectors edition with all four movies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes with masks with it , so we had to put on the mask's , obviously i was Donnatello , he and i are one ><.... later that evening we headed out to the bonfire fire pit and made a massive fire , for a good 3 hours we chatted roasted marshamallows and played with fire , then cam ein and watched Hannah Montanna the movie ><... yes i said H.M the movie , but to be honest i love that movie i just dont like "Miley cyrus " , and then around 2 went to bed... Today , we woke up pretty early it was ten am , we ate blueberry muffins for breakfast and watched the first four episodes of NCIS season one , and now i am home, feeling sick in the stomach , aka the blueberrys made me feel sick like hell!!! :(.... oh well , and on September 5 i am leaving :) leaving for montreal with Melaniie , oone of my best friends yet again and my "little sister" teehe , i got a text yesterday saying she was back , must say thats like the best news ive had in a while :P.... ive missed her so much , so yeh sept 5 bye bye Constance bay and Hello Melee :):):)

Pce&Love
Maree

Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Bastards = best movie everrrrrr:)...and today is Niki's birthday , well technically yesterday since we are now the 26 , wow .... tomorrow shall eb my mom's birthdya :(... and a month ago it had been 3 years in total since well the last time i saw her face to face.... it hurts to think that ... because i miss my mom , and sister...and i ahve a half brother now... wow...how things change , wel;l so far since i last wrote i saw Renae' gosh we had a blast..and um unexpected akwardness happened...but anywais it's all good , we got some tention outta our systems ><... nywais and well i went to Sam's and Niki's for niki's birthdya adn Daniel ( her bf) adn SaraB came as well , to see inglorious bastards , wich i must say yuo need to see , or else you are mising an amazing movie my friend ><... and in 3 days Melee comes back :) Im so excited i've missed her so damn much , like i havent seen her in forveer , well a month or so but STILLLL.... and on thursday im hopefully getting my hair done , i hope sooo , cuz i hate my roots its disgusting it makes me look liek i have a greasee ball on my head, or well .... so i have a slight delema , i like one of my closest guy friends Justin D, but one of my girl friends also lieks him, and she's sort fo ALOT hotter ,prettier and um cuter then me...and well .... i truly like him , ave liked him for the longest time , but im scared he doesnt and just ses me as a friend ( liek every other guy does) and liek sher instead, wich would be great for her...but obviously suck balls for me :(.... so i don't know what to do ... shoudl i tell him , or just play the nice friend that i usually am for guys ?....and saturday theres a point party and i was maby going to ask him if he wanted to go with me, i hope he says yes :)...but what if he says no , no big deal??... i duno , cuz me and him have been firends for 2 ears and ive always had feelings for him , and i don't know if he would feel the same , it sort of scares me cuz i don't want our friendship to be ruined by my feelings...

Pce&Lvoe
Maree

It's Britney Bitch

OMGGGGG :) BEST CONCERT EVERRRRR!!!! must say effects , show , freakshow :)... Britney spears is one of my idols since i've been a kid and last night she made me realise how big of an influence her music has had on me :) like she is one of the most talented people out there, she is an amazingg singer and dancer and profermer!!!!!!!! she showed us how wishes can come true , her Freakshow was one not to be missed , the acrobats , the eccentric dance moves and very unique scenes put on stage for every act of the song :) .... If you have one concert to live to see , better make sure it's the Britney spears circus tour!!!!! or elese you've lost :P.......She started the night with Circus and what an entry that was...she came down on stage from a fre circle thingy .... lol.... and she eneded the night with womenizer:)... the change of customes and the perfect dances was a top! My favorite song of the night must of been everytime , she was wearing this gorgooues short dress , and she was perched on this big umbrella swing , it was gorgeous , SHE was gorgeous !!! Britney spears Pop Princess <3...i shall write alot more about the conert tomorrow , but right now Caitlin is coming over:)

Pce&Love
Maree

Doo Whap

One day left t'ill the Britney Spears concert!!!!!! and im soo excited!!, so tomorrow i wake up , get in the shower.... then do my hair ...im a going full out tease tomorrow for my hair , like tadaaaa, and then big and bold makeup , my sneakers skinnies and a hot top and im off to one of the best concerts of my life :) and then Saturday I'm having a girls night with Caitlin D :)... ive missed her ugly face, kidding shes actually gorgeous!!!! then sunday im suppost to haev agirls night with Allie J and Nae...but i haven't heard from either :(... specially Nae... i called her 2 days ago...but she was suppost to call yesterdya..never did...so i left a message last night.... today i called 3 fucking times..left a message...no call back..like wtf???... so im pissed ...either she doesnt know i call or she;s avouiding me?.... and what ever.......

Pce&Love
Maree

Mosaic

Rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).
b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php).
d. Save the image and post it on this note!
e. If you're tagged, pass it on.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. Favorite drink?
5. Dream vacation?
6. Favorite hobby?
7. What you want to be when you grow up?
8. What do you love most in life?
9. One word to describe you?

38 hours later

The sun has been soo good to us for the past 2 weeks :).... but today it rained ... it felt good >< ... everything was getting kinday dry , but lets hope the bright sunshine heat comes back tomorrow:).... well for the past few days things have been going pretty well , I went to Sam's last night ... thing is we never went to bed...and the night befor i had 4 hours of sleep , so is it okay to think that i may be sleep deprived ><, but i had a clever plan to make it AWESOME and my style of hair , you may call it what ever you like ( emo,scene,skater ect...) i couldn't care less of labels, but as i was saying i took the wig and reversed it ..meaning the mullet looking part wa sin the back of my head and the long hair in my face, i side banged it... and spike the mullet at the back of my head and VOILA !! Sam also did the spiking and side banging , teehe , and well it looked aweomse ... an early Bill Kaulitz :) , speaking of Bill , T.H (a.k.a for those who don't know my favorite band ) have realise an exclusive clip of their new song :)... i am soo happy it is actually descent , i was expecting a little more punk\rock out of them but no...they are going into a world of music that i dislike ....:( ... but that is okay , because i still love them very much , and their music :) i always will ....and maby that that song is just slightly different ill probably love it soon or later :) ... Omg annd in 3 days I;m seeing Britney spears in conceert!!!!! yay!!!!! , then tuesday I'm getting my hair done , well hopefully ...i booked the appointement .... but i need to ask my dad :S..... oh well im off to call Nae, cuz i miss that frily silly bestiie of mine:)
Pce&Love
Maree

Oops i did it again.....

its blazing heat outside:) im so happy summer has finnaly decided to come out of its shell to embrace us with the loving dose of heat and sunshine ..... these last few days haven't been all that exciting , but have been pretty good , i decided that I'm going to try and see what i can do to leave the city ...i HATE Ottawa , and well my dad says we can't go to quebec city...btu maby round october i'll go with him he said... but i shall be heading to montreal later next week.... I'm going to go visit this place i saw on the internet...sounds too good to be true kind of place.... but no alarms I'm NOT moving out just yet...maby after the new year :)....nywais , soo friday august 21 i shall be going to see the one and only BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!! , sdome may think that , that is lamer...but for me it's AWESOME:).... i grew up listening to her music and dancing along the fun beats , slowly grinding up as her music evolved into lyrical seductions >< ..... but omg I'm soo excited!!! , I'm going with Sam , Niki, Emma and .... i don't know if anyone else is going >< .... lmao!!! .... and next saturday I'm hanging out with Caitlin D , sooo pumped were going shopping together and omg , ive missed her alot!!! , this summer has made me realise how much people take friends for granted :(.... nywais im off to call a special best friend of mine ;)

Pce&Love
Maree

Head Ache

crap i hacvent written in about a week now -_-... so i fail for that simple reason ... and my best friend is grounded t'ill school starts for ehr :(... fuck... oh well on the brighter side ive been getting really close to an old friend Caitlin D.... me and her were really close until the night of my grad party...she ditched it to go see her (ex) bf at the time..... and well she was going to come see me at my party... but she ran into them and all this shit ahppened.... well just to say were over that... and were closer then ever...adn were trying to plan a girls night :)..... possibly next friday :):) Yay :P.... and well Jacci wanted me to go camping with her and andrew this weekend...short notice ...she called today...she wanted to leave today... and andrew's her bf...i would have basically been the 3 wheel...fun? no!,.,,,,, and right now i have the biggest head ache ever...well actually i had the biggest head ache..its sort of gone now :P....thank god...jeez it was a bugger:P.... an dwell i was suppost to call my cousin Vero on monday ( hence we are friday ...iwas suppost to call 4 days ago).... but ive had alot on my mind and that was sort of the last thiong.... but yeh i would love to go visit her Pat and Vez in quebec...but i need a job first lmao..... ill try to call her tomorrow and try to work something out for like a week or something in septemeber or october or even x-mas time :).... but not for this summer... cuz my friend Zelia is coming from Munich,Germany on the last week of august adn she will be staying at my place for a day or two :)... im sooooo excited to see her... she was one of myf irst friends at west carleton , she was an exchange student from germany , she was very different, like i was, and we became really close really ffast , but then she had to go back, and i haven't seen her since, so its been about 2 years :(.... time passes by so fast it's kinda really scary....nywais im off to dream about something more thanit is :)

Pce&Love
Maree

Fireworks :)

omgggg, okay ive been having the best 3 days everrrrr, i was at Renae's for 3 days , awesome right!!! , and well we went to get Dee her percing on saturday , funniest shit EVER , i think Nae was more scared or more freakd out then Dee, wich is HILARIOUS ..... and i got it all on the camra ( insert evil cakcle here) ..... and well Dee got her labret perced and it looks amazing on her!.... and Saturday night we went to the Casino ( au lac leamy) to see the Italy fire works :P ... best frraking fireworks ive ever seen , omg like it was almost might i sound corny magicl :) like i felt like ome , nyais ... Nae and i thought it would be the perfect date , sad story is that ...we didnt have any :(...lmao ..... but we all knwo who i would of loved to haev there ;) R.I.C.H ..lmao.... and we should also clareafy that i am over Colin ..he's a prune head for all im conserned ;p... so now im back home ...without Nae :(.... ugh i wish i ddint leave her house :(... first thing my mom said when i went throught the door was " hey just in tiem to do the dishes and cat liter" ...Fuck my life!!!!!!!..... oh well dreams can only last for so long right?

Pce&Love
Maree

My name is pogo , wanna jump on my stick?

hellooooo , wow long time since ive blogged..well 2 days ><... so im standing here beside this lovely girl named Jacci , shes a blonde... yep that says it all :).... and well last night Jacci, Sarah , Stef, Mac,Brit went for a 2 hour walk around the bay ...well we didnt walk much wich is kinda funny , but it was fun ... then Sarah and Jacci came back to my house... we ate chocolate...and Sarah broke ..well it was broken already but she ended its pain..the pain of Jacci's cell that has been dying for a while now... so tonight Jacci betetr eb getting a new phone :) cuz her phone is outta wack lmao... so im talking to my cousin form quebec .. on msn obvouisly..and they want me tyo go visit for a week befor the end of the summer..... yay ?....... nywais... im heading to Nae's round 8.. im pumped to see her... ohw ell goota go get ready ... and Jacci is leaving me ** cries in corner **
Pce&Loe
Maree

Birth Month

This si what my birth month says about me ;)

* Stubborn and hard-hearted
* Strong-willed and highly motivated
* Sharp thoughts
* Easily angered
* Attracts others and loves attention
* Deep feelings
* Beautiful physically and mentally
* Firm standpoint
* Easily influenced
* Needs no motivation
* Easily consoled
* Systematic (left brain)
* Loves to dream
* Strong clairvoyance
* Understanding
* Sickness usually in the ear and neck
* Good imagination
* Good debating skills
* Good physical
* Weak breathing
* Loves literature and the arts
* Loves travelling
* Dislike being at home
* Restless
* Hardworking
* High spirited
* Spendthrift

One Lust

run your hand throught my hair
let this breeze freeze the air
i wanna get to know
don't be afraid to touch
it might lust

lemme tell you this
i like to show
like it slow
let's start taking it off
just ripe it off
tear it up
look down now
i see how it ends

curving like a snake
i want you to penetrate
don't be scared
let everything loose
push it to the rythim
my pulse getting faster
your touch weakening me
it think you might be

the one
to love
thinking has gone out
all i can do is scream
shout
tell what its about
give know
faster please
take a breath
( haw haw haw)

fire burning touch
the one i can't leave out
touching me
wanting to be
one lust

Vagina Pubs on Fire

Tralalalalalalalaaaaaaaa , teehee little blonde moment there >< ... so i have finally gotten to my senses , and i shall eb doing my hair soon , BLONDE AND BLUE , boyah .... adn tomorrow night im having a girls night wiht none other than Jacci and Sarah , havent seen Sarah alllll summer...i had a rough spot with her but i told myself w.e i need all the friends i can have , life is too short for bullshit :).... and Nae is still my Bff, do not worry bout her >< ... ses enjoying the summer , hanging ALOT with megan and this chick named Riley, Riley seems pretty aweosme :P , im excited to meet her , cuz well thats all Nae tlak about is what she does with R&M ... but yeh .... and for the past few nights ive been alone so alot of thinking right... and well me and Caitlin wokred things out also , two friends one week im that epic, like i know that everyone like hates caitlin , but everyone keeps leaving me outta plans so I make my own plans then ...lmao... and i must say i don't really have a social life here... i juts go with the flow...lmao im too gangsta, but lately my lil Nae has been doing some popularity growing ...and i know im not losing her...that be stupid..but i always have this slight feeling of it... but i remind myself that shes one of those firends that i can count on :)..so im thinking about this year and how im probly gonna work like mad.... and make mad cash ... and me and emma were thinking of buying a house .... not to bad eh?...but i still owuld like to eentually mvoe to montreal some day ... maby in a year or two?.... i dunno -_-..... nywais imma go creep some facebook ppl :)
Pce&Love
Maree

Cosplay Time

Boooyah , theres an anime convention coming to ottawa and Emma , Sam ,Tay,Teresa,Heather and I are going!!!!!! omg i am soooooo excited , we couldnt go to the one in toronto earlier this year because it was during exam week and christmas , so we didnt manage to go...but theres one in october here in ottawa!!! omg like it is going to be the event of the year , so pumped... so we've been exchanging ideas for cosplay,like who wants to be who and how and what...obliously everyone knew that i wanted to be Yui from vampire knight my favorite manga and anime i am so excited like YAYYYY , and me and heather worked things out between ourselves ... she said me and Emma didnt get invited because she ahd a maximum of people ...and well its okay i still feel left out but w.e right?...cuz we shall be spending the best 4 days of our lives together :) oh boi like i know its in 3 months time but i cannot wait for it to come :P ..... so right now im tannning with my laptop and im going horse back riding soon , it was a surprise my dad had planned for me and Nae ...but shes having fun with her other firends right?....lmao ...and last night she wouldnt stop asking if soemthing was wrong...obliously she knew right ...but i couldnt tell her because well tere were 2 girls there with her...and wel saying what is going on with me to a complete stranger there would not be cool .... but i shall tell her , after the test are done ... i have a doctors appointement on tuesday A.K.A tomorrow...im very scared ... like seriously i hate tests .... so i called up an other bff , caroline ....shes going to come with me , cuz well she been throught EVERYTHING with me... thought sometimes we get on each others nerves she still my best friend :)... and i just hope that my test goes well and nthing comes up... and I talked to her about montreal again.... she knows that eventually we shall both move there.. i told her i wanted to wait for Nae, cuz i don't want to leave her behind kinda thing... but it isn't realistic ... Nae probly wouldnt want to come ... but we shall see what time gives us right?.... everything happens for a reason... oh well im going to go get ready now...omg horse back riding = EXCITING

Pce&Love

Maree

August 1 2009

HOLY CRAPPPPP .... well thats how i feel , the movie the orphan...very psychologically scary and way to realistic ......like gosh i was scared the whole time watching it...but it wasnt that bad after wards...i went ot see it with Mommy:P..Renae, and deandruh:P...and well Deandruh was horrified a while after the mvie was over...we played pranks on her in the car and omg my cheeks andribs were sop ssore from laughing :P..... the movie tho was amazing...whoever thought of it has a mental disability:P...like it was so well thought of...like holy camolly :P...nywais after that i went back to Nae's for a sleep ovah..and the next day , wich was yesterday i had a boosterjuice interview at centrum, it went amazing, i truly hope and pray that i get the job, if not imma cry.....cuz i truly need this ob i need ot start saving money liek ASAP....lmao....and today me and Nae( she slept here last night) tamned in the sun all day , it felt pretty awesome...having the sun here for 3 days , being with renay for 3 days..man i have a feelignt omrrows gonna rain..JK.... hope not.... well tomorrow Chantale and Rob and Becca( ahaha funny same name as my cat jsut written a diff way) are coming over for a sleep ovah :P... ive missed them :(.....lmao even tho i saw them ..hmm..last week?...or was it this week?...oh well eithewr way ive missed them:P .... and now im talking to my closest dummbies Megan , and well u guessed it Nae:P ... liek im so blessed to have friends like them , tho we have had are ups and downs i have a feeling these two are here to stay :)... wich is a very good feeling :)
Pce&Love
Maree